A Love That Lasts: How My Journey with Men Led Me to Christ

Last summer, I came to the realization that I was unhealthily idolizing worldly things.

One particular thing I idolized, which significantly influenced my decision to be baptized again, was love. I had a strong desire for romance and had been single for four years. Last year, I dated someone for four months. He took me on a date every weekend, which I genuinely enjoyed because I had never been courted like that before. I eagerly anticipated those weekends.

When you're introduced to something new, it can feel like you suddenly have a purpose. That's the feeling I experienced with him. For various reasons, we decided to part ways. Afterward, I realized I was emotionally attached to worldly things when my emotions should have been focused on God.

Following the end of our relationship, I began to reflect on myself. I questioned if I was the issue in my interactions with men, going back and forth, blaming myself. I would replay scenarios in my mind, thinking they caused my relationships to fail. Then, I had an epiphany.

It was never about me. Yes, I have my flaws. Yes, I occasionally lose myself in love (in a positive way). Yes, I often need reassurance. Yes, I want to be the only woman in a man's life (besides his family). Yes, I sought things that any man truly interested in me wouldn't mind doing. It was the men I chose. More self-reflection led me to God.

For anything involving a man to work out for me, my relationship with God must be paramount. A connection with God must be established in my life before anything else. I needed to seek love from God before I could find it in a man. I realized I needed to return to Him. I needed to repent and ask God to forgive me for neglecting His love. God's love for me surpasses that of any man. He sent His only son, Jesus Christ, to die at Calvary for me. So, on August 25, 2024, I was baptized for the second time.

The first time, I was too young. My grandma, Tutu, chose to have her grandchildren baptized before Hurricane Katrina in 2005. At 26, I wanted to make that choice for myself, and so I did. As my relationship with God continues to grow daily, my heart opens to Him in ways it never did before. I realize I can rely on Him for everything, especially love. I no longer feel an urgent need to seek romance from any man. Yes, I still aspire to be a wife someday. Yes, I still believe in romance. But as Isaiah 60:22 states, "When the time is right, I, the Lord, will make it happen."